Poor translations are no laughing matter…

…well except when they are really funny.  No seriously, we know that a poor translation is no laughing matter especially as it can damage your brand, business and reputation.  But, the following are just too funny not to share with you and are great examples of the wrong word at the wrong time and a confused grammatical order.  Enjoy.

Translation servicesAn Athens’ hotel efficiently informs guests: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.  Please form an orderly queue.

A sign in a lift in a Paris hotel asks guests to: Please leave your values at the front desk.  Obviously you’d check out toute suite.

A Bucharest hotel is perhaps too honest with its signage: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.  The translation may be poor but the information is undoubtedly correct.

Both a Yugoslavian and Japanese hotel go above and beyond with hospitality according to their signage.  In Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.  And in Japan: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.  We’re not sure if this is ‘all inclusive’ though…

Whereas in one particular hotel in Zurich guests are asked to keep it clean in the bedrooms: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.  But it would seem it’s okay to get amorous at reception.

However, pregnant ladies should be aware that Norway has a strict policy when it comes to childbirth, but luckily this is signed in a Norwegian cocktail lounge for those who are unfamiliar with it: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Hotel and restaurant menus can be tricky to navigate in a foreign country if there is no translation available, but fortunately a hotel in Acapulco goes that extra mile: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.  Stick to the beer.

And a Swiss restaurant is more than happy to give a truthful review on their wine menu: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.  Head to a nearby bar instead.

After that downer guests will need to head out to enjoy the local attractions…how about this recommendation from a hotel in Moscow about a nearby Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.  We dread to think what happens on Thursdays.

When it comes to medical translations, we can certainly guarantee not to offend half of the world’s population unlike this claim in a doctor’s office in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.  Or send a confusing message about dental care like this dentist in Hong Kong: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.  Good to know.

You’ll be relieved to know that Enigma Translation can provide you with accurate translations in over 114 languages.  Give us a call on +44 (01604) 750 799 or contact us via email or Facebook.

Reasons for small companies to use a translation company

Having an in-house team of translators is fantastic if your company has the resources and generates enough translation work to warrant it. 

But in reality how big would your team need to be?
How many countries do you do business with or are you trying to reach?  Would you be lucky enough to find bilingual even trilingual employees to cover all the languages you need to communicate in?  Would you need your team full time?  What are the pitfalls of only employing team members on a part time basis?  Part time translators not being available when it really counts could be a deal-breaker.

Translation servicesSize matters
If you’re a small company this pipedream is unrealistic and definitely not cost effective, which is where Enigma Translation can help.

Enigma Translation at your service
We have 7 years of experience providing translation and interpreter support to small companies often at short notice, so we’re not fazed by tight deadlines.

Our team of translators are 2,000 strong across the globe and cover over 114 languages.  They are all full time, fully qualified professionals with at least five year’s experience and only translate into their native mother tongue.  They are available when you need them which is why we can offer a same day service or completion within 24 hours.  And the best bit, they’re not on your payroll, drinking your coffee or taking up space in your office.

How we can help you

  • Marketing Translation – expertise and translation of press releases, flyers, brochures, newsletters, emails or a whole marketing campaign
  • Website Localisation – expertise and translation of your website into another language or several to expand your target market
  • Financial Translation – translation and expertise in all aspects of business, finance and economics including banking, insurance, taxation, stock markets and property markets
  • Legal Translation – expertise and translation in all areas of law including Civil, Commercial, Criminal, International, Property, Employment, Probate and Family law
  • Medical Translation – translation of medical documentation including reports, journals, questionnaires, brochures and instructions for medical equipment and expertise in Oncology, Ophthalmology, Orthopaedics, Paediatrics, Radiology Psychiatry, Preventative medicine, Dentistry, Veterinary, Alternative therapies, Health and Safety, Public Health and Pharmaceuticals
  • Technical Translation and other specialised subjects
  • Editing, copywriting and desktop publishing – in any language
  • Interpreters – face to face meetings here or abroad

The price is right
At Enigma Translation we believe the personal touch goes a long way which is why we determine the price of a translation by its subject matter, legibility, language, deadline and size.  We could just be the cost effective translation solution you are looking for.

Open up your business to the rest of the world
There are many ways to contact us for further information or to discuss your requirements.  Call us on +44 (01604) 750 799, email us, visit our website for a free instant quote and find us on Facebook.

5 reasons to love Enigma Translation

February is a romantic month with Valentine’s Day slap bang in the middle and its synonymy with leap year marriage proposals by women.  Ladies did you know this year is a leap year?  You might want to ‘save the date’ and surprise your partner by proposing to them on February 29th 2012.

Whilst you’re in the mood for love why not consider the following 5 reasons to start your love affair with Enigma Translation?

Translation services1. I love you in 114 languages
Our global network of over 2,000 professional translators can say I love you in over 114 languages if that’s what you need.  We cover an extensive range of languages from the familiar to the less familiar and also same language country variations. 

We know words are important and no more so than when popping the question.  So if you want to impress your soul mate by asking him or her to marry you in their native tongue or like the romantic idea of asking in another language, get in touch for a quick turnaround.  We can’t guarantee they’ll say yes, but we can guarantee they’ll understand your proposal.

2. Love specialists 
Now Enigma Translation can’t claim to have specialist knowledge of your intended, but we can claim that our translators have expertise in many specialised subjects.  In fact we’ve dedicated a whole page on our website to our extensive list for you to take a look at.

So if you ask us to help you with translation regarding marriage legalities, we will say ‘I do’.  Or if you need our translation services for understanding the financial legalities of buying your first love nest, we will be happy to carry you over the threshold so to speak.

3. Love is blind
Whatever your translation requirements, you can be blissfully happy in the knowledge that proof-reading of your translated documents comes as standard.  Our professional proof-readers are loved-up with words and can complete 8,000 a day.

We know your reputation is at stake and it just wouldn’t do to ask your beloved to spend the rest of his or her ‘parrot’ with you, when we all know you mean ‘life’.  Yes it would be a memorable proposal, but for all the wrong reasons.

4. I wanna hold your hand
At Enigma Translation we don’t just translate, we interpret too.  If your meeting is an urgent matter of the heart, be it love or medical one of our professional interpreters can be there for you. 

Whatever the diagnosis, broken heart or not at least you’ll understand what’s being said.  And your interpreter will keep whatever’s been said confidential, even if it’s just your ego that’s bruised.

5. As fast as Cupid’s arrow
If you need your translated declaration of love or your marriage licence in order before hot-footing it to Vegas or Gretna Green, we can have it in your preferred language tout suite (that’s immediately).  We offer a same day service for when love just can’t wait.

And for those of you who aren’t as impulsive or relish a little more time to pluck up the courage, we can usually complete the work within 24 hours.

What do you think?  Should we give it a go?  Call me!  Here’s my number: +44 (01604) 750 799 or send me a note by email or Facebook!

Medical Translation

Enigma Translation‘s Medical Translation service covers a vast area and is highly specialised.  Accuracy and efficiency is crucial as is expert knowledge of the medical sector, medical texts and hospital procedures in different countries.  Without stating the obvious, a poor or timely translation could mean the difference between life and death.

Let’s face it when we find ourselves in a medical situation as hard as we try to process the information we’re given at the time, we often come away questioning whether we’ve fully understood what was said.  What made sense in the doctor’s surgery, A&E or in the consultant’s room at the hospital is suddenly not so clear.

medical translationDon’t lose your head
So transport yourself to another country with a different language and understandably the situation can become a whole lot more scary and stressful.  However if you find yourself in this predicament, be it requiring medical or dental assistance whilst on holiday or as a new resident in a new country, Enigma Translation can help.

Not only do we take the mystery out of the language but also out of the situation.  Engaging the services of our professional translators to help with translating medical documentation can reduce the additional anxiety and stress of not fully understanding the situation or diagnosis.

On home ground
Perhaps on your return from another country you need to pass your medical documentation to your own doctor or insurance company.  Enigma Translation can help with the Medical Translation of patient information papers, consent forms, prescriptions, test results and discharge papers to name but a few.

Of course you may have opted for a medical procedure or alternative therapies to be carried out overseas or the family pet may have travelled with you on holiday and needed veterinary attention.  Many of these will generate medical paperwork that you may wish to have translated.

Make your business our business
On a business level perhaps you are providing a medical service abroad or dealing with medical documentation such as reports, journals, questionnaires, brochures or instructions for medical equipment that require translating.  Again our professional team of linguists can help.  We will assign a translator who is expert in the source language, target language and particular medical sector you are dealing with.

Also if you are running a restaurant or bar overseas and need to understand Health and Safety procedures in a foreign country and translate the documentation that goes with it, we can help with that too.

Medically speaking
In fact Enigma Translation has translation experience in all of the following medical areas: Oncology, Ophthalmology, Orthopaedics, Paediatrics, Radiology, Psychiatry, Preventative medicine, Dentistry, Veterinary, Alternative therapies, Health and safety, Public health and Pharmaceuticals.

Whatever your Medical Translation needs, Enigma Translation is here to help.  Get in touch to find out more by calling +44 (01604) 750 799 or by email if you prefer.  You’ll also find details on our website and our free instant quote facility too.

And if for any reason there are legal implications with your medical situation abroad, we can also provide legal translation.