Poor translations are no laughing matter…

…well except when they are really funny.  No seriously, we know that a poor translation is no laughing matter especially as it can damage your brand, business and reputation.  But, the following are just too funny not to share with you and are great examples of the wrong word at the wrong time and a confused grammatical order.  Enjoy.

Translation servicesAn Athens’ hotel efficiently informs guests: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.  Please form an orderly queue.

A sign in a lift in a Paris hotel asks guests to: Please leave your values at the front desk.  Obviously you’d check out toute suite.

A Bucharest hotel is perhaps too honest with its signage: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.  The translation may be poor but the information is undoubtedly correct.

Both a Yugoslavian and Japanese hotel go above and beyond with hospitality according to their signage.  In Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.  And in Japan: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.  We’re not sure if this is ‘all inclusive’ though…

Whereas in one particular hotel in Zurich guests are asked to keep it clean in the bedrooms: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.  But it would seem it’s okay to get amorous at reception.

However, pregnant ladies should be aware that Norway has a strict policy when it comes to childbirth, but luckily this is signed in a Norwegian cocktail lounge for those who are unfamiliar with it: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Hotel and restaurant menus can be tricky to navigate in a foreign country if there is no translation available, but fortunately a hotel in Acapulco goes that extra mile: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.  Stick to the beer.

And a Swiss restaurant is more than happy to give a truthful review on their wine menu: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.  Head to a nearby bar instead.

After that downer guests will need to head out to enjoy the local attractions…how about this recommendation from a hotel in Moscow about a nearby Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.  We dread to think what happens on Thursdays.

When it comes to medical translations, we can certainly guarantee not to offend half of the world’s population unlike this claim in a doctor’s office in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.  Or send a confusing message about dental care like this dentist in Hong Kong: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.  Good to know.

You’ll be relieved to know that Enigma Translation can provide you with accurate translations in over 114 languages.  Give us a call on +44 (01604) 750 799 or contact us via email or Facebook.

15 interesting facts about Enigma Translation and languages that you might not know…

  1. Translation servicesEnigma Translation was founded in 2004 by Graham Bowles who is passionate about creating easy access to the translation of business services with his team providing a fast, easy and professional service to businesses around the world
  2. Graham believes “The world of language translation can be a mystery to many people and barriers are built up, hence the name Enigma – meaning a puzzling thing or person. With Enigma Translation, it is not a barrier, it`s a gateway!”
  3. Enigma Translation offer a vital service in the world of translation as approximately 75% of the world’s population don’t speak a word of English
  4. Our professional translators can assist you with the world’s most widely spoken languages by number of native speakers and as a second language (according to figures from UNESCO – The United Nations’ Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) (source: bbc.co.uk), which are Mandarin Chinese, English, Spanish, Hindu, Arabic, Bengali, Russian, Portuguese, Japanese, German and French
  5. Of the oldest languages known, we can help you with Basque which is spoken in the Basque Country in Spain located on the French-Spanish border in the western Pyrenees and with the modern version of Hebrew predominantly spoken in Israel
  6. Enigma Translation assist businesses such as Barclaycard International, The Carphone Warehouse and Alstrom Power as well as individuals with their translation needs
  7. Our worldwide network of over 2,000 translators can translate over 114 languages
  8. We are fluent in all the Slavic languages including Macedonian, Polish, Russian, Bulgarian, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Serbian, Czech, Slovak, Croatian and Slovenian
  9. Our full time translators can usually complete around 2500 words each day and our full time proof readers can usually complete around 1000 words per hour
  10. Enigma Translation’s professional interpreters are available at short notice to support you with language interpretation from consecutive interpretation and simultaneous interpretation to whispered interpretation
  11. Most of the world’s languages are spoken in Asia and Africa which is why we provide translation assistance with many of the languages used in these continents
  12. Enigma Translation provide a fast turnaround offering a same day service or translation completion within 24 hours
  13. Dutch is said to be the easiest language for native English speakers to pick up, while research shows that for those native English speakers who already know another language, the five most difficult languages to get your head around are Arabic, Cantonese, Mandarin Chinese, Japanese and Korean (source: bbc.co.uk), luckily Enigma Translation can accurately translate all of these languages for you
  14. You can find us and ‘like us’ on Facebook
  15. You can contact us by telephone on +44 (01604) 750 799, by email or via our website for all your translation and interpreting needs

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter

Did you know that we are on Facebook and Twitter?

If you follow us on Facebook and Twitter you will be able to stay connected and interact with us via your mobile whilst you’re on the move.  You’ll be able to see what we’re up to and what new services we have to offer.  And most importantly you’ll be able to contact us for your translation needs whether you’re at home or abroad.

If you’re not familiar with social media here’s how you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Click on this link to go to our Facebook page and you’ll see posts or snippets of news from Enigma Translation on our ‘wall’.  This is where we keep you up to date with the services we offer.  You’ll see we recently posted news of the diverse range of languages we can offer translation in: ‘Arabic, Dari, Farsi, Persian, Hebrew, Punjabi, Gujarati, Bengali, Urdu, Hindi, Latin, Maltese, Gaelic, Bosnian, Serbian, Armenian.’

Translation serviceIf you click on the ‘info’ link on the left hand side of our Facebook page you’ll find our contact details and company overview.

To follow us, all you have to do is click the ‘like’ button at the top of the page and our regular posts will appear on your Facebook ‘wall’.  If you don’t already have a Facebook account you’ll be given the opportunity to register for one for free.

Click on this link to go to our Twitter page and you’ll see our ‘tweets’, again informing you of what we’re up to and the services we offer.  We recently tweeted about our team of translators: ‘All of our translators are fully qualified, full time, professionals with at least five years experience who work in their first language.’

To follow us on Twitter, all you have to do is click the ‘follow’ button in the top right hand corner of the page and our ‘tweets’ will show up on your Twitter page.  If you don’t already have a Twitter account, just register for free by filling in the ‘sign up’ box on the left hand side with your name, email and your chosen password.

Why ‘follow’ Enigma Translation?
Well it’s the easiest way to keep up with us, our services and any future special offers we run.  It’s also a great way to expand your own business’ target audience.  The more businesses and people you follow and the more businesses and people who follow you, the more you increase your own company’s visibility online.

And the beauty of social media is that it’s all about sharing, so a comment from you on our Facebook page could be shared with another Facebook user then shared and shared again, all the while giving your business extra exposure on the Internet.

On Twitter followers can share (retweet) your tweets to their followers and spread your message, details of your service and products…whatever you have to say basically.

We like to think of it as digitally handing out your business card to other followers who could become potential new customers or clients.  Now you know how, follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

Hire a professional interpreter

Did you know we offer an interpretation service as well as a translation service here at Enigma Translation?

What interpretation services are available?
Generally there are three main types of interpretation services: consecutive interpretation, simultaneous interpretation and whispered interpretation.

Professional interpreterIn layman’s terms, consecutive interpreting requires the interpreter to listen to the person speaking in the source language before delivering the vocal translation in the target language.  The conversation happens in segments allowing the information to be vocally translated in manageable portions.

Simultaneous interpreting however requires the interpreter to deliver the vocal translation in the target language whilst the speaker of the source language is still talking.  The interpretation happens in real time.

Whispered interpreting is a form of simultaneous interpreting used for small groups of people who don’t understand the source language amongst a larger group of people who do.  The vocal translation is literally whispered or delivered in a quiet voice alongside the source language conversation.

How can an Enigma interpreter help you?
Our professional interpreters have expertise in many specialist areas including: Legal, Medical, Financial, Technical and Marketing.  You can see the full list on our website.

This means not only are our interpreters fluent in the source language you need help understanding, but can vocally translate into the target language with expert knowledge of the terminology and practices used in that field.

Help in legal situations
For instance you may need an interpreter with you for a solicitors meeting, a day in court, at a tribunal or help with police matters.  Or with an estate agent or solicitor when buying or selling a property overseas.

Help in medical situations
For peace of mind in what can already be a stressful situation; our medical interpreters can help you understand your diagnosis and further treatments and procedures that may be required.  For instance, a consultation with your dentist, your doctor or at the hospital, in fact any medical scenario you might find yourself in.

Helping individuals
We can provide a professional interpreter for any type of meeting you have, perhaps with your employer or manager.  We recently provided interpretation services for Primark and one of their Czech employees.  Or perhaps you’d like an interpreter on hand during a job interview to ensure you understand the procedure and any tricky questions that arise.

Helping businesses
A professional interpreter can be a great support in meetings with overseas clients here or abroad.  Not only will they keep the channels of communication open, but their familiarity with business and cultural etiquette will help you avoid any business or social faux pas. 

In whatever area you require our interpretation services our professional interpreters will observe your need for confidentiality and remain impartial.

Professional interpreters at the ready
Our professional interpreters are well versed in bridging the communication gap in over 114 languages and help both businesses and individuals, often at short notice.  So if you find yourself urgently needing our help, give the Enigma Translation office a call on +44 (0) 1604 750799 or on our mobile +44 07930326698.

You can also get in contact via email enquiries@enigmatranslation.co.uk or Facebook.

Welcome to our blog!

Living in the fast paced and culturally diverse world that we do, here at Enigma Translation, we make it our job to understand languages. Understanding languages for us is not merely word for word translation. It is not just about being fluent in a certain language either.

Here at Enigma Translation we are fluent in not just languages such as French, English, German and the like, but the language of law, marketing and effective communications, to name but a few.

By engaging with us we will be able to open up your business to a whole other world of possibilities. Our language translation services are available in over 70 different languages. From Afrikaans right the way through to Somalian. We have over 2000 linguists who are highly experienced and specialised in their subject area.

Our translation services cover a broad range of areas from;

  • Medical and pharmaceutical translation
  • Website translations
  • Legal translations
  • Financial translations
  • Marketing and press translations

So whether you need a marriage certificate translated in Finnish, a court interpreter in Welsh or even a website proof read in Arabic, here at Enigma Translation we have expert linguists who can adapt to your needs.

We have been working in the translation business for over seven years now and have built up a wealth of expertise and linguists who are on hand to help you. Each of our linguists operates in their native tongue and has signed a confidentiality agreement. Your peace of mind is of paramount importance to us at Enigma Translation.

The art of good translation comes from effective communications and that is what we offer here at Enigma Translation. We can turn projects around in 24 hours if need be and are here to help you, whatever your needs. If you have a question, all you need to do is ask. 

You can find out more about us on our website. Why not contact us at Enigma Translation for a free quote? But make sure you check back to our blog regularly for the latest translation news, information on Enigma Translation and our wide range of services. We have plenty that we want to share with you!